What It Is Like Having Biracial Family

Our beautiful subscriber, Delilah Montalvo, wrote a touching letter about her worries concerning her Black husband and their children.

Before I go into explaining my worries about my biracial family, I would like to tell you about my history with the black community. I’m Puerto Rican and Italian. I look white though. But believe it or not I have been through racist experiences.

As a child I grew up in an urban neighborhood, Irvington, New Jersey. It was and still is predominantly black. During my time there all my friends on my block were black. I loved them and their families very much. They taught me a lot. They were very loving and vibrant people. Never violent. I was baptized with African god parents. They are from Ghana. Growing up with them, I learned so much about family morals. They taught me so much. All the while the person that was raising me was trying to teach me to hate black people.

When I got older and back under my biological parents care, my father tried to do the same and teach me hate. Still continued after I came of age. My mother was never that way. All she ever dated was black men. And those black men always treated her better than any other ethnicity. When I lived with my mom I was in another black neighborhood, East Orange, New Jersey.

I have never not had a black friend. My experience with black people has always been a great one. Black people have morals, goals, respect, honor, and great hearts. I don’t like how they are portrayed in media. Yes, I understand that there are some ignorant black people. But there are ignorant people in every ethnic group. Education on the true history of the black culture will wake everyone up.

I watch the news daily and I’m always on social media. I see the good and I see the bad. I wish the bad was just people getting arrested and doing time. But no people are being killed for senseless reasons. I’m not just talking about cops killing black men and women. I’m talking about all crimes against the black community.

People may ask why do I care I’m white I will never experience what they go through. My fiancé is black. His son is fully black. We have a daughter together as well. I live in a hood where even the black cops don’t care about their black community. I’m constantly in fear of a traffic stop going wrong or even when he travels to take his son home to his mother. His sons mother lives in white suburban area. I worry that he be stopped by a racist cop and never make it to drop his son off. I’m so worried about it that I make sure I send one of my white sons with him so I can feel more at ease. Maybe if they see him with a white child they won’t shoot him for having tinted windows. I worry about his son going to school down there as well. He is already getting made fun of what happens when this emotional bullying turns physical? From bullying into hazing? They will never believe him because they will look at the color of skin first.

And my daughter that’s another worry. Just to let you guys know. I’m an ancient Egypt freak. I love to learn everything about it. I also know of other African cultures. So I know the truth behind the next statement I will make. Black men and women are kings and queens. And the American media and school system fail to teach that. They fear black people awakening and finding out their true history. With that said I’m in fear of my daughter growing up to hate herself the way media tells her, too. Or her exploiting herself the way the media exploits black women. I do and will continue to teach my daughter that she is a proud black queen before anything else. But I’m scared that outside influence will cause her to hate her naturally plump lips, her kinky hair, or her curvaceous body. I don’t want her to feel like she can’t be the true queen she is and will be. Also my mom had a friend; he has taken me in as his daughter. He isn’t even with my mom. He has been there for me and my children for almost 10 years now. I call him dad and my kids call him grandpa. The media always makes it seem like black men are boys. Well they aren’t and I’m grateful to have two of them in my life.

Going out as a family we still get the stare downs. What if a racist shoots down half my family in front of the rest of us just because they don’t like the color of their skin? Now there is a broken family. it’s so sad to live our lives on what if’s. But it’s the world we live in today. And it’s not right. I’m a white person who is ashamed to admit I am white. I claim my Puerto Rican side more than the white side. I’m proud to have at least a percentage of black in my DNA.  Being black shouldn’t be a crime. Being black is blessing. #thiswhitepersonistiredofwhatwhitepeoplearedoing


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Author: Delilah Montalvo

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